We All Need Someone We Can Trust
by websurffer
Summary: AU Buffy has forever sworn off men. She has never even thought of going back on this vow. At least, not until now. PG-13 for some language. Complete
1. The drift, or a semi truck?

'It would figure,' Buffy thought as she lay is the huge hospital bed, 'that the one and only time I get asked out by a decently attractive guy he goes all psycho one me as soon as we get to his house.'  
  
Angel O'Connor had seemed like a great guy. Tall dark and handsome with a steady job and a nice house and car, what more could you really ask for? Well, sanity for one thing. Buffy had come home with him thinking at the time how sweet and romantic he was being. As soon as she had crossed the threshold that all changed. He had lunged at her and pinned her to the floor. Form out of no where a knife had appeared in his hand. That knife was the reason she was currently lying in a hospital bed staring at the oh so tasteful shade of green that all the walls in her room were painted.  
  
Buffy as a rule didn't trust many people. The people whom she trusted right off the bat were all notoriously bad choices. They were also almost all males.  
  
There had been her Dad. The one person she thought she could trust to guide her through life. Instead he had gone to Spain with his secretary and never returned her calls. Not once. Not on her birthdays. Not for Christmas. Not even when her mom had died. Never.  
  
Then there had been Riley Finn. She had thought that he would be her one and only. At least until she had walked in and caught him with that ho-bag Darla Morgan. Shortly after that incident, Riley had enlisted in the armed forces. She wasn't sure which one. Last she heard her was deep in the jungles of South America.  
  
And then there was Scott. The rebound guy. The guy who she had only gone to because her heart was still in tatters about Riley's betrayal. The guy who, incidentally, turned out to be gay. Nearly flamboyantly so.  
  
The one person in the world she thought could really understand her was also on this internal list of betrayers. Her sister. Not her sweet sister Dawn who was at God-only-knows-what prestigious university. No, Dawn would never ever try and cause Buffy harm. Faith, however would, and did so often. Faith was the one who spread the horrible rumors about Buffy. Faith was the one who purposely totaled her car, stained her clothes and tried to ruin everything and anything she could get her hands on that was owned by Buffy.  
  
And last in this long line up of pain and horror was Angel O'Connor. The sweet faced, mamma's boy, axe murderer. Buffy decided that there would be no more added to her list. She knew the simplest solution to this chronic line of betrayals, put downs and pain.  
  
Buffy was swearing off men.  
  
Forever.  
  
********************************************************* (Six months later)  
  
Buffy had held strong. She had turned down every date in the past six months since 'That Night'. She never actually mentioned it to anyone. All her friends knew was that suddenly, half a year ago, Buffy had completely and totally given up on the opposite gender. Her friends didn't know about anything that had happened other than the date had NOT gone well. They hadn't ever seen the scars or heard her sobbing herself to sleep in remembered terror. Life was never kind to Buffy.  
  
She broke out of her thoughts as her best friends Willow and Xander came up to her table at the Bronze. They had been trying obsessively to find a guy who could work his way past Buffy's barriers and into her heart. They had yet to succeed.  
  
This time, however they didn't approach with an eager bundle of testosterone in tow. No, this time they were bodily dragging a man in his early twenties, with peroxide blond hair, a black leather duster, and a black shirt coupled with broken in black jeans. Buffy would give him this; he certainly cut a character. And those cheekbones! His eyes caught hers and she saw that he was probably as happy about this arrangement as she was. Those stormy blue eyes looked resigned to his fate, just as she was sure her green ones did. She sighed.  
  
"Buffy ohmigod we found the bestest most perfect guy for you! He's not homicidal, suicidal, homosexual, or anything horrid like that! Plus he's got this great accent and I know for a fact that you like leather. OH! He drives a De Soto and-"  
  
"Wills! Breathe! And let the poor guy go, you dragged him here and he looks about as pleased about that as I am."  
  
"I'm sorry Buffy but it's just that he's perfect for you." Willow muttered, blushing deeply.  
  
"And why would that be?" Buffy inquired with one delicate eyebrow arched for emphasis.  
  
"Because he has completely sworn off women. Just like you completely swore off guys!" Willow proclaimed grinning.  
  
"And this makes us a perfect match how?" Skepticism dripped from her words to land in a big puddle around the proxide-blond's combat boots. He looked as if he agreed with her completely and was weakly tugging at the hand Xander was using to keep him there.  
  
"Well..." Willow began but Buffy cut her off before she got very far.  
  
"You haven't even introduced us properly. Now I know my mother raised you hooligans better than that."  
  
*********************************************************  
  
Spike blinked as willow and Xander, his two good friends and partners in crime bounded over to his table at the Bronze.  
  
"Come on! There's someone you gotta meet!" Willow cried, nearly bouncing with enthusiasm.  
  
He groaned. Not another beach-bimbo that Willow swore up and down was 'the one' for him. He sometimes wished he'd never sworn off women. Then he would remember why and be appalled at his momentarily lapse.  
  
As usual, he resisted. As usual, it got him no where. So when they finally got to their destination he met the eyes of the new chit that was supposedly 'perfect' for him and was shocked to find the mirror image of what he was feeling portrayed there.  
  
He snapped out of his daze just as she said something about her mother raising hooligans. At the somewhat sad smiles this brought from his normally hyper active friend he blinked. Her mum must've died recently for it to still effect Red and the Whelp so much. He blinked again, finally processing what she had said.  
  
"'m name's Spike"  
  
"Spike?" At her incredulous look he felt prompted to clarify.  
  
"Well, it's actually William but that's such a pouncy name that anyone who calls me that tends to find themselves in a very bad position."  
  
"Spike it is then."  
  
"What's your name, pet?"  
  
"Well it certainly isn't 'pet'." The girl snorted in a very un-lady-like fashion, "Although 'pet maybe better. My name is Buffy and if I hear any wise cracks or smart-ass remarks then you will find yourself missing a valuable piece of equipment, if you catch my drift."  
  
He caught her drift all right. Like a two-ton truck to the gut. Real subtle this one.  
  
Thus concluded the first meeting of one Buffy Summers and one William 'Spike' Morrington.  
  
*********************************************************  
  
Almost everyday that week Willow and Xander had forced the reluctant two together. Both Buffy and Spike were remembered past experiences every time they saw each other. In other words, the entire time they were forced to be near one another was filled with tense silence.  
  
Spike shook his head slightly. He was being childish and rude. Sitting here in her living room trying to pretend she wasn't there wasn't going to make her go away. The least he could do is TRY to talk to the chit. Even if every fiber of his being was screaming at him not to. Well, in that case maybe not. He sighed.  
  
This was going no where fast.  
  
*********************************************************  
  
Buffy looked over as Spike sighed. She knew how he felt. If she ever caught up with Willow and Xander she would rip them apart. As she was thinking this, a plan began to form deep with in her mind. She had never said she would swear off being friends with a guy. And Spike was petty hot, so if worse came to worst she could always blame it on that. Having come to this conclusion she turned to face her reluctant companion.  
  
"So, wanna help me murder Wills and Xander?" She asked with a bit of a bounce. She giggled. He looked a bit shocked.  
  
"Um...sure pet. Why not?" She nearly died laughing at the look on his face.  
  
'Ooh, he's getting mad now Buffy!' she thought in apparent amusement, 'Better stop laughing at him before he does something you'll both regret!'  
  
That was all she had time to think before he launched himself off her couch and at her with a cry of "I'll show you silly little chit!" Like the wise person she was she froze up completely until the last second when anything she did was a futile effort. He grabbed her in a flying tackle and proceeded, very quickly, to do the last thing she ever would have thought of him doing.  
  
He tickled her.  
  
*********************************************************  
  
Spike grinned victoriously over at the disheveled blond next to him on the couch. They were both panting with exertion.  
  
"You so totally did not win that." Buffy finally managed.  
  
"Yes I did! I had you pinned to the floor laughing your pretty little ass off, swearing your surrender. I won, you lost, no more discussion."  
  
Buffy pouted and said in the most irritating whiny voice she could conjure up, "But Spiky! I obviously won because you let me up right when I asked and were ever so courteous and gentlemanly that-"  
  
A horribly blushing Spike cut her off. "Alright. I give! You win, happy now Slayer?"  
  
She wrinkled her nose, "Slayer?"  
  
"You could knock a man dead with that amount of puppy-dog-eye-pout aimed at them."  
  
She blushed prettily and opened her mouth to respond when the doorbell rang. She furrowed her brow. Willow and Xander were having a night it watching movies, Spike was here, and Giles, an old friend of the family had gone back to the land of the tea drinkers. So no one she knew would possibly be waiting on her doorstep at this moment. She looked over at Spike.  
  
"So," She asked, trying to sound casual, "how are you at the 'Protective Boyfriend' roll?"  
  
"Oh I'm pretty good. Why?" He seemed honestly curious. The doorbell rang again. And again.  
  
"Because no one I know could possibly be the one incessantly ringing my door bell right now."  
  
"Oh."  
  
*********************************************************  
  
Buffy was very nervous. She had no wish to open the door looming in front of her. She also had no wish to seem like a coward in front of Spike.  
  
'Since when do you care what he thinks?' A little voice in the back of her head asked. 'Shut up! I don't care what he thinks and I will open this door and I'll do it now! So there!' And so she did.  
  
And immediately wished she hadn't.  
  
There standing in front of her was the one man she never wanted to even hear of again. Angel O'Connor. The one who gave her the horrific scars that ran down her back and across her stomach. The scars that were a grotesque perversion of wings. Angel wings.  
  
She slammed the door, gasping for air.  
  
From behind her came a tentative voice. "Buffy? What's wrong?"  
  
She turned to him slowly and shakily stated to move towards the living room. She'd never told anyone. Not Willow or Xander or even her little Dawnie. No one knew. Could she tell Spike? Tell him when she'd told no one else? She couldn't, not yet, she wasn't sure if she trusted him enough. As she sat down on the couch she realized with a start that she was trembling rather violently. She looked at Spike as he gently sank into the cushions next to her.  
  
********************************************************* A/N: I know some what cliffie, but what can I say? I'm annoying like that. I realize I am not doing Spike's accent, there is a reason. The reason being that I try to do an accent in writing, as I've been so kindly informed it comes of sounding somewhat like an odd blend of Scottish, Australian, English (which was what I was aiming for in the first place) and Irish. 


	2. Show and Tell

Spike watched her silently from his position on the couch.  
  
'Poor girl's shakin' like a bloody leaf! Wonder what it was about that guy, right tosser he was to, that upset her so much... NO! You don't care! She's a bloody woman! All innocent virginity until she has your heart in those pretty little hands and then she throws it down and stomps it into a million little pieces. Right not caring.... but maybe a little bit sympathetic.' Having come to this compromise Spike gently scooted closer to the distraught blond.  
  
Carefully he wrapped his arms around her in a silent show of support, trying to make her see that he'd always be there for her. The thought of 'always be there for her' didn't fully register and by the time he had become slightly disturbed it was gone. She curled up against his chest, suddenly breaking out in huge gasping sobs. His heart melted ever so slightly at the sound, she sounded like everything good in her life had been taken away and then she'd been told it would never be Christmas again.  
  
"Shh, pet, I know it hurts. It'll get better, just let it all out. That's right. I'm here for you, shh now, you'll feel better in the morning I'm sure." Spike wasn't quite sure that those sentences were completely coherent, but they seemed to have the desired effect.  
  
At least, until the doorbell rang.  
  
As Buffy burst out in a fresh wave of tears Spike cursed the pillock who had the nerve to break any woman in such a way. For this monster of a man had certainly broken Buffy. She had more scars than physical ones. She was like an antique vase a burglar had broken and then inexpertly tried to glue back together. She would hold but pressure applied in the wrong place would break down her carefully constructed walls.  
  
He gently set her down and then fully immersed himself in the roll he had been asked to play. He stormed his way to the front door and literally slammed it open. In fact, had he not caught it when he did, it most probably would've seriously damaged the wall behind it. He growled.  
  
"What, in fuck's name, do you want?" He knew his teeth were grinding together. He knew his eyes were blazing insanely with a type of rage he hadn't felt in quite a while. A possessive touch-my-girl-no-look-at-my-girl- again-and-die type of rage. He also knew he wasn't the most rational person when he got like this so he hope that the stupid prick in front of him would take the hint and leave.  
  
Luck, it seemed, was not on his side tonight.  
  
"Look Mr....."  
  
"Spike"  
  
"Look Mr. Spike" here Spike snorted in a rather disgusted manner, "all I want to do is see Buffy. She's got a few things of mine and I merely wish to claim them, nothing more." Here Angel tried his best to look innocent. It was something, Spike supposed, akin to a dog that has just ripped off your leg begging at your table for scraps of food.  
  
"No."  
  
"But-"  
  
"No. And if you don't leave this very second I WILL call the police and they WILL arrest you."  
  
And with that Spike firmly shut the door in Angel's face muttering all the while about, "Stupid idiots who have wonderful non-cheating girlfriends and then traumatize them so bad with their excessive foreheads that they never want to date again for fear of a repeat performance."  
  
*********************************************************  
  
By the time Spike returned Buffy was wiping her eyes delicately with a Kleenex. She looked over at him with gratitude, sadness, and something indefinable in her eyes. She laughed slightly, and odd choked, strangled sound in the back of her throat.  
  
"You must think I'm this big sissy girl now. I'm not usually like this its just-"She cut herself off, appalled at how much she had nearly given away just then. Spike saw this and understood her reasons. Still, he was curious.  
  
'Well,' he thought, somewhat morosely, 'you want her to trust you so you're going to have to share a bit your self. You could always tell her a bit about Drusilla...'  
  
He took a deep breath, bracing himself for the painful memories this was doubtlessly going to invoke.  
  
"I think I can relate, at least a bit. I have an Ex that I know I could never face with out turning into a great big puddle of embarrassing despair. Dru and me, I really deluded myself into thinking we had something special, something eternal, something effulgent." He nearly choked at repeating the words she had used to lure him into her trap, but resolutely plowed on. Once he started he had to finish.  
  
"Those were the words she used. I wasn't always all antichrist and punk- rocker like. I was the typical picked on little short kid, who likes to write poetry, all through high school. I'd just come out from a party where I'd told a girl, Cecilly, how I felt about her. She wasn't so receptive to my affections. Told me I was 'Beneath her'. Drusilla seemed like a goddess at this time, all starry eyes and swaying to a music only she could ever hear. I thought I'd reached heaven. More like hell." He finished with a snort, surreptitiously wiping a tear from the corner of his eye.  
  
Buffy looked on quietly. Seemed like Spike had about as much luck with the opposite gender as she did. She blinked once, slowly. Maybe she could tell him a little bit, just a little bit in repayment for that obviously painful speech. She breathed in once, slow and deep.  
  
"That was Angel O'Connor."  
  
Spike looked surprised, almost as if he had completely forgotten that she was in the room. He gave her an encouraging look.  
  
"He was the one to give me my scars. The doctors said that the cuts were too deep to fully heal. So I'll be stuck with them until after I die. Do you know that because of him I can't stand to look at myself? I can barely manage a shower." By now Buffy was gasping slightly, tears streaming down her face leaving raw, salty trails in their wake.  
  
Spike sat quietly next to her, rubbing soft circles on her back with one on his large, lightly callused hands. She bolted up from her place on the sofa.  
  
"I-I-I haven't e-ever shown anyone, but f-for s-some reason I-I want t-to show you." Buffy was mortified. She hadn't stuttered since...Not since she met Angel.  
  
Spike looked unsure. He opened his mouth to say something when she darted over and gently held it closed.  
  
"No." She said firmly, the stutter of a few seconds ago gone; "I have to do this. If I don't now I never will."  
  
He nodded. She supposed that, in his own way, he understood.  
  
She pulled back and peeled off her cardigan and the light tee shirt underneath. She winced slightly at his harsh intake of breath. She stood absolutely still; her was to him as if that would protect her from his reaction. His hands lightly traced over the gruesome marks, causing her to jerk slightly in surprise.  
  
"That bloody pillock." He whispered, sounding as if the wind had been knocked out of him.  
  
She turned around. It took an agonizingly long time but she finally faced him, and was shocked to find tears evident in his eyes. He must have seen her look of confusion because he began to explain several times before actually getting out what was on his mind.  
  
"Pet, Buffy, you're the most beautiful creature on Earth and the fact that he did this to you only shows how much of an idiot he is. Even after all he put you through; you're still standing strong. Stronger than I could ever be. Don't ever let anyone make you doubt yourself, you're so much better than them." His last words were thick with tears.  
  
Suddenly, and much to her shock, he backed up and shucked off his own shirt, whirling around and presenting her with his back. She gasped in horror. There craved crudely into his back was a large dragon, spewing flames down and around his slim waist. Over the horrendous scars someone had added ink so that it was grotesque to the point of beauty.  
  
"Who did this to you?!"  
  
*********************************************************  
  
Spike was shaking violently by the time Buffy got to where he was standing. She gently turned him to face her and wrapped her arms around him in a comforting embrace. He buried his face in her hair, breath hitching and coming out in near sobs. She murmured soothingly, just as he had done for her only moments before. She had found someone who understood how much it hurt to not be able to love yourself as you were and to always remember how you had been. He knew, just a she did. This they shared.  
  
*********************************************************  
  
A/n: Sorry it is so short I just wanted to get this posted. This I dedicated to Anon. who was my first reviewer. Good grammar? Me? Wow. Wish my English teacher thought so. *sigh* I suppose you can't have everything.  
  
R+R= Fast Updates! 


	3. I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend

* * *

For the last few days Buffy and Spike had become close. So close in fact that they often heard cracks about being attached at the hip from Xander while in the background Willow smiled smugly. They tried not to listen to what their friends said. Each was convinced that the other had merely platonic feelings for them. Everyone but them saw the intense vibes they were sending out. No girl who wasn't suicidal in some way came within a ten- foot radius of Spike when Buffy was near by.  
  
Spike leaned back against the bed's headboard. He was sitting in his room with only a few candles lit to provide light. A notebook was propped lightly against his slightly drawn-up knees. A few lines were written but it was too dark to really tell what they said. Spike sighed sadly.  
  
'And how will this make her love you? You know you're a _horrible_ poet, everyone you ever let read your poetry has said so. Why would she be different?'  
  
He sighed again.

* * *

Buffy lay stretched out on her belly, her legs swinging rhythmically above her to the beat of the music pouring loudly out of her headphones. She sighed as she flipped through her magazine. Usually the latest celebrity gossip would engross her for hours, but now it just wouldn't hold her interest. Her thoughts were constantly drifting to a certain bleach blond. She knew he didn't like her that way, why would he? He'd seen the marks left from her past and he knew that they had left more than flesh wounds. There were so many layers of mental scar and baggage that came with her, why on earth would any sane guy want to be with her?  
  
'Maybe he thinks you've got an interesting personality.' That small annoying voice in the deep dark recess of her mind whispered.  
  
She snorted. People said that tings were interesting when they didn't like them or thought they were boring. She didn't really want to be called interesting by anyone. A memory of the time right after her time in hospital surfaced. She had been put in a counseling program. Her psychiatrist had said 'interesting' a lot. She had gone once, and never gone back again. Why would she pay hundreds of dollars for an hour with a person whose vocabulary was limited to 'hmmm', 'interesting', and 'I see'?  
  
She sighed. Just because Spike didn't like her didn't automatically make her not like him. She couldn't bring herself to say love. She had said she 'loved' Angel and see where that 'love' had gotten her. A three week long stay in the one place she hated above all reason.  
  
'Y'know,' she thought somewhat bitterly, 'Life isn't fair. Not in any way shape or form. Nope, not at all.'  
  
She sneaked a quick look at her phone, begging it to ring. She missed Spike already and it had only been a few hours since he left. This was pitiful. She was better than that! Waiting around all day for a guy, a **GUY**, to call. How pathetic was that? She wouldn't act like a schoolgirl with a crush any more. Nope, not her! She was grown up Buffy and nothing could stand in her way!  
  
The phone rang, and with a squeal that would've pierced the eardrums of any dolphin, she bounced up to answer it.

* * *

Spike was mildly surprised at the speed with which Buffy answered the phone. She didn't really strike him as the sit-all-day-by-the-phone type.  
  
"Hey, pet. How're you doing?"  
  
"Oh I'm good. Just missing this incredibly gorgeous guy."  
  
Spike surprised himself by growling at the thought of Buffy wanting anyone of the male persuasion. Except of course him; not that he'd admit that under torture.  
  
She giggled across the phone line. "I meant you silly!"  
  
With a quiet "oh" for a response showed just how stupid Spike thought he was being.  
  
Buffy giggled again. Spike ground his teeth together and tried his best not to rush right over to her house and show her just how much that sound affected him. He looked down. Maybe that wouldn't be such a bad idea....

* * *

Buffy bobbed her head back and forth to the music. It had been a whole ten minutes since she had gotten off the phone with Spike and she was currently bouncing around her kitchen making lunch. Suddenly a strong set of pale arms wrapped around her from behind, pinning her to a solid, muscular chest.  
  
"SPIKE!"  
  
'Oh yeah, that was a squeal. No doubt about that' Spike thought with a pained expression fixed firmly on his face. Buffy spun around and, noticing the aforementioned expression gently smiled at him. Then, much to Spike's annoyance, she went back to making lunch as if she had never been interrupted.  
  
Spike grumbled unhappily and sat down at the kitchen table.  
  
'Annoying little chit, acting like I'm not even here when I am a guest in her home. You'd think she'd have some manners. Well...then again, she is an American. What else can you expect? Although, for a Yankee she is an okay person....' Spike was dragged out of his thoughts when, seemingly out of nowhere, a sandwich and bag of chips were plopped down in front of him. He looked up and smiled at Buffy.  
  
"Thanks, pet."  
  
"No problem."

* * *

Spike was, to put it mildly, nervous. His company Christmas party was tonight and Buffy was his date. They were both hesitant to call it that, but he knew she was thinking it. They went together perfectly. The way they bickered over little things made people believe that they were married, and had been for quite sometime. It was getting to the point that they were both sick of the 'old married couple' jokes that were constantly being shot their way.  
  
Currently Spike was pacing up and down the sidewalk in front of 1630 Revello Dr. He was half an hour early and was trying to talk himself into not talking himself out of going. It wasn't going well. There were so many reasons to back out and so few not to. He didn't want to disappoint Buffy though, so he stayed. About fifteen minutes later he was incredibly glad that he had done so.

* * *

Buffy smiled shyly at Spike from her front porch. She had finished getting ready a bit early and had seen him pacing frantically outside. Taking pity on the poor man she walked outside and waited for him to see her. At first he had seemed surprised to see her there. Then he had proceeded, with out any further ado, to do a rather impressive imitation of a fish that had been deprived of water. She couldn't resist giggling at him.

* * *

Spike was stunned, baffled, befuddled, and completely awed at the picture Buffy made. She was encased in a decently tight red dress that hung off her shoulders and nearly pooled at her feet; with her blond hair beautifully curled into loose spirals that were mostly pinned up, only a few escaping to frame her face; and her strappy black shoes were held in one hand.  
  
'And' Spike's dazed mind thought, 'this perfect vision of femininity is smiling down at ME.'  
  
He had to be the luckiest guy in the world.  
  
"B-Buffy. Wow...you look...wow."  
  
The goddess in front of him giggled lightly, the sound so silver bells dancing in the wind, of sunlight.  
  
"Let's go, Spike. We don't want to be late do we?"  
  
Mutely, he nodded.

* * *

As they were announced at the door as '_Mister William Morrington and Miss Elizabeth_ _Summers_' they both cringed. Buffy because she hated when people thought her name was actually Elizabeth, and Spike because he just plain hated his given name. As they walked in, however, they had plenty of things to distract them from the atrocious slights against their names.  
  
First thing that Spike had to do, after coming through the door, was glare at all the testosterone filled creeps trying to 'get it on' with his girl. He was very possessive of the things and people he considered his. Then, right after warning off all the men, he gave significant looks to those attending whom he knew didn't play on the home team. A few of the more insolent ones looked like they'd try and have a go any ways but after yet another glare even **_they_** knew they had no chances.  
  
While Spike was occupied, Buffy took a moment to look around and admire all of the beautiful things in the room. The marble dance floor was polished to a nearly reflective sheen. The chandeliers glinted delicately, as beneath them the diners quiet chatter created a soothing murmur of sound. The clink of silverware permeated the air, giving a sense of refinement to the atmosphere.  
  
Buffy and Spike sighed in unison, smiling slightly at each other in amusement. They weren't really into being social butterflies.

* * *

Buffy staggered and leaned heavily against Spike laughing uproariously. The party had long since ended and Spike was now attempting to get an extremely tipsy Buffy home safely. It didn't really help that he was not exactly sober himself.  
  
"Sho Shpike m' boy what d' we wantsh to do?"  
  
"We...we...well there was something we were going to do but I've completely forgotten."  
  
They both giggled.  
  
"I know!" Buffy crowed happily, "Let'sh go back to your housh."  
  
"A'right, pet"  
  
Stumbling slightly they entered into the dark interior of Spike's flat. They were both giggling hysterically over the smallest of things and bumping into objects in the dark wasn't exactly helping. Wobbling over to the couch both Buffy and Spike collapsed heavily.  
  
Still under the influence of alcohol, they intertwined around each other until even they weren't sure which leg was whose. As they each wrapped their arms securely around the other the final effects of their drinking binge appeared and they passed out at almost the exact same moment.  
  
Morning was not going to be a very pleasant experience.

* * *

'What did I **_do_** last night?' Buffy moaned inside her pounding head.  
  
She sat up with a slowness that was nearly lethargic. Her temples pounded like jackhammers against her skull and she felt so sick to her stomach that she was actually considering getting up. Then with out warning what had once been a perfectly stable world lurched agonizingly, causing her to loose the little food still in her stomach all over the nice wood floors. Something beneath her moaned piteously. She looked down and gasped quietly.  
  
Spike, completely disheveled and without a shirt was lying trapped under her thighs. 'Not that he seems to mind overly much' she mused as a hard something dug into her buttocks. Sleepily one stormy blue, bloodshot eye opened to squint at her. She slowly stood and limped pathetically into the kitchen. Grabbing a few towels, she returned to find Spike in much the same predicament as she had been moments earlier. Gently, once he was finished, she handed him a towel and started cleaning up her own mess. Spike smiled gratefully.

* * *

A few days passed when all that Spike and Buffy ever did was sit at home quietly on the couch and watch movies or read together. They finally felt truly comfortable with each other and Spike was gearing up to pop the question. Not, of course, to pop **_THE_** question, no just to ask her if she'd like to be, officially, his girlfriend. He really did hope she said yes.  
  
They were both reclining on the couch, cuddled up together, when Spike nervously cleared his throat.  
  
"Buffy, we are both obviously interested in each other, and we both hold affection for one another in our hearts and I was just wondering if you wouldn't be incredibly adverse to being called my girlfriend. I'll understand completely if you don't want to, I mean who'd ever want to be with me any ways? But I'd like you to consider-"  
  
Buffy gently pressed her finger to his lips, effectively silencing him.  
  
"Spike, darling, I'd _love_ to be you girlfriend."

* * *

A/N: Mariana and Anon. Wow, you two are great! Thanks for all the support. Oh, and Anon.? If you so desire you could be my beta as I am in need of one. That way you'd get to read the chapters before anyone else. I'll understand if you don't want to but if you do just give me your email address.  
  
RR= Faster updates! 


	4. Baby Blues

The next few weeks were spent in the euphoric bliss of a new love. Days spent playing in the sand, dancing in the waves along the shores of California's sun kissed coast. Holding hand and naming off constellations at night. Everything was sunshine and happiness. Thusly the laws of Karma and Fate order that something come along to disrupt the joy. After all, Fate does have a wicked sense of irony.

* * *

Buffy hurtled towards the bathroom at one in the morning on June eleventh. It was a Saturday and she had been planning to spend her day at home with Spike. Now it seems that they'd have to take time to see a doctor. This was the fourth time this week she'd thrown up after waking. Not to mention all the near hysterical breakdowns she seemed to be having of late.  
  
She leaned against the cool porcelain of the bathtub as she wearily flushed the toilet and rubbed at her eyes in a vain attempt to stave of the massive headache that she felt coming on. She felt gentle hands lift her towards a solid chest. She curled into the masculine body that cradled her as Spike carried her down the stairs and into the kitchen. Without pausing to put her down he snatched up the phone and dialed the number written above it. Still cradling her to his chest he waited impatiently for someone to pick up the other end.  
  
"Hello, you have reached Dr.Gila's office. How may I help you?" Spike nearly growled. This overly perky chit had to have the most grating voice he'd ever heard.  
  
"Yeah Blondie, listen my girl's been sick the last four days now, every morning. She's having some rather nasty stomach cramps and is having some really weird cravings. We need an appointment."  
  
The bloody twit on the other line had the nerve to laugh at him. "Oh, you don't need an appointment, I can tell you right here and now over the phone what's 'wrong' with you girlfriend. You knocked her up you bozo. Do you guys even know what the words 'safe sex' mean? There was this perky little red head and a guy with floppy brown hair and the cutest puppy dog eyes in here just the other morning with exactly the same problem. I mean come on people-"  
  
Spike cut her off, asking in an almost frantic voice, "Was the red heads name by any chance Willow and the bloke she was with, was his name Xander?"  
  
"Yeah that's right. How'd you know?"  
  
The phone dropped with a clack the kitchen floor. Slowly spike stooped and hung it up, still dazed from the news. He turned his eye on Buffy who was sitting rigidly, having obviously heard the entire conversation. She looked up at him, eyes filled with tears, silently begging him to make it all better. He was so sorry that he couldn't. Although he could always make her laugh, or at least not look so close to another break down. Hmmm...  
  
"So, Pet, what are your views on having a double wedding?"

* * *

Buffy just sat for a moment before bursting into gales of laughter. Spike blinked. He didn't think the idea of marrying him was that far fetched. Apparently Buffy caught his train of thoughts and managed to gasp out a few words that had him blushing.  
  
"That's (hee hee ha) your (snort chuckle honk) idea (giggle choke wheeze) of a (Gasp snort) proposal?"  
  
He supposed that that MIGHT not have been the best way to phrase what he wanted to say, but when it came to emotions he was useless.  
  
Buffy finally stopped laughing and got a mischievous glint in her eyes that Spike knew, just knew, was not a good thing.  
  
"Let's go visit our good friends, Willow and Xander. We haven't seen them in quite a while, being all wrapped up in each other and all."

* * *

Willow ran to get the door of her apartment. She knew it wasn't Xander as he had been living with her ever since the found out that 'safe sex' wasn't as safe as it claimed to be. As she flung the door open she nearly had a heart attack. There, on her doorstep, was Buffy and Spike, completely decent and not twined about each other till you weren't sure who was who any more. Buffy giggled and walked in, dragging a grinning Spike in after her. Willow shut the door and carefully turned around. Buffy held something up and handed it to her.  
  
"Thought you might be needed this soon. Oh, and what are your thought on a dual marriage? Spike proposed this morning and I expect that if he hasn't already then Xander will be soon."  
  
Willow was gaping. Not only did Buffy already know that she was having a baby, but she also knew that Xander had proposed! Willow vaguely heard laughter in some far off place but she was too busy gaping like a fish to understand the implications of that.

* * *

Buffy threw herself down next to Spike on the battered old couch. They were waiting for Willow to regain control of her motor skills.  
  
"So, wanna play cards?" Buffy asked, whipping a pack out of no where.  
  
Spike rumbled softly. "You knew she'd react like this didn't you?"  
  
"Oh yeah."

* * *

Xander stumbled sleepily into the living room. The tableau that greeted him there was, to put it in simple terms, a slight shock. Buffy and Spike, obviously having emerged from their cocoon of love, playing poker and Willow standing stock still in the foyer. He padded up to her quietly and waved his hand in front of her face. Receiving no response he turned to look questioningly at the couple on the couch, both of whom were watching him with fierce amusement in their gaze.  
  
"Alright Buffy, what did you say?"  
  
She grinned and declared triumphantly, "Congratulations."  
  
Seeing Xander's lost look Spike decided to save what little dignity the poor boy had left. "We thought that it was only polite to tell the two of you that we share the same good fortune. We also wanted her thoughts on a dual wedding but we never actually got an answer on that one."  
  
Slowly it dawned on him what Spike meant. He looked back and forth between the two blondes incredulously.  
  
"You two are having kids?!"  
  
At their identical grins he promptly passed out. The last thing he heard before all went black was a rough British voice saying "Resilient friends you've got, pet" and laughter. Then there was nothing.

* * *

A/N: Sorry it is so short but I really needed to post this author's note and I figured I might as well give you a chapter. I realized how much I had abandoned the other characters so that is why they were oh-so-conveniently brought back. I know that the Buffy/Spike having a baby thing is really cliché but I need it o get where I'm going with this story.  
  
To Anon.: First of all if you click on my pen name at the top of a chapter it'll take you to my little personal info. page. There should be a link to my e-mail address. If that doesn't work, then never fear I'll give it to you (and any one who cares to have it) any ways. While you're at my profile though you might want to read some of my favorite stories. They're mostly Harry Potter or Buffy crossovers but there are a couple odd balls. My e- amil is:  
  
saponookyahoo.com  
  
No it doesn't mean anything so don't ask. Have fun. 


	5. Bells are Ringing

Later on, after all present had been safely roused into consciousness, the wedding plans began. It would, much to the girls' delight, take place outside. The male counter parts had fought against it but, in the end, female charisma (and creativity when making threats) won out. Now all they had left to decide was the flowers, bridesmaid dresses, groomsmen outfits, table arrangement, time, place, the brides' dresses, who would cater, and everything else. They decided o divide up the work to make it less daunting.  
  
Willow would plan the reception (catering, number of people to a table, arrangement of the table, stuff like that), while Xander would do the flower arrangements, seating chart, and all the smaller details of the reception. Buffy and Spike would take care of the actual ceremony.

* * *

Spike sighed for what had to be the millionth time that day. Buffy had decided that she wanted to get her dress and the bridesmaid dresses sooner rather then later. For the bridesmaid dresses she had chose a sleek pale blue creation that had hints of darker blue and lavender running through it. The floor length skirt flared slightly out at the hips underneath a clinging halter-top. Over all it made a wonderful show of any female's figure.  
  
Spike nearly groaned as yet another rejected dress was added to the steadily growing pile. When he had seen how little time Buffy had needed to find the bridesmaid dresses he had had hopes for her own dress-finding-time as well. Apparently when it came to herself, Buffy was a sight more picky.  
  
Yet another dress flew into the pile.

* * *

Xander was fairing a slight bit better then Spike. Willow had buckled down and gotten her gown earlier that day. They were currently in the flower shop discussing possible arrangements. Unfortunately the owner of the shop, a nice brunette named Amy, and Willow kept getting off topic and bursting into giggles. At Xander's exasperated sigh, Willow finally took pity on him.  
  
"Why don't you go home and work on the seating chart? I'll stay here and call you on my cell when I need to be picked up okay, honey?"  
  
"That sounds great." Xander replied giving Willow a hug and an affectionate kiss on the forehead before turning and exiting the shop.  
  
Willow turned to Amy with an mischievous glint in her eye.  
  
"Now that he's gone we can really get to work."  
  
Giggling filled the store.

* * *

A plane landed in the LAX airport. A man in a tweed suit and glasses stepped out and slung his large duffel bag over his shoulder. He walked briskly towards the exit to hail a cab. He had a long drive in front of him.  
  
There was now way in hell that Rupert Giles would miss his daughter's wedding.

* * *

Buffy merrily skipped to answer the front door. After several long hours she had found THE dress for her. Poor Spike, as soon as they'd gotten home he'd collapsed on the couch and hadn't so much as twitched ever since. Smiling brightly she threw the door open.  
  
She blinked slowly, jaw hanging open.  
  
Then flung herself at the man she considered to be her father.  
  
"GILES!!!"  
  
She smiled guiltily when he winced at her several octaves higher voice.  
  
"Yes, hello Buffy, it is quite good to see you. Now, may I come in?"  
  
"Of course! Our home is your home and all that junk! Now are you going to be the overbearing guy you usually are or are you just going to flat out threaten my fiancé?"  
  
"I think I'll go for the flat out threatening. No one gets my subtle hints other then you and so usually my efforts are wasted."  
  
"Well, unfortunately for you, Spike is more likely to react to the hints than to the wacky man-in-tweed threatening thing. But you already chose so too late now!"  
  
Giles sighed in frustration and began to vigorously clean his glasses. Some people never change...

* * *

A few days later the two couples preparing for marriage were listening to the radio, desperate for music to play at the reception. Almost everything else was planned, but not this. Both brides snapped their head up as a new song came on.  
  
_I paid my last respects this mornin' on an early grave  
Already said goodbye, nothin left to say  
A tiny church a tiny town and not a tear was spent  
Not how I wanted it, I'm hating all of this  
_

_Well I'm hating, all of this  
I'm hating, all of this  
All of this, all of this  
Now I know why, I hide my love from you somedays  
No I don't mind keeping this bottled inside me  
You came along, and tore this world out around me  
Looks like you found me  
Now I know why  
I felt like shit when I woke up this morning  
  
I've been a loser all my life, I'm not about to change  
If you don't like, there's the door, nobody made you stay  
There ain't a woman on the planet who can deal with it  
Just how I wanted it, I'm hating all of this  
  
Well I'm hating, all of this  
I'm hating, all of this  
All of this, all of this  
Now I know why, I hide my love from you somedays  
No I don't mind keeping this bottled inside me  
You came along, and tore this world out around me  
Looks like you found me  
Now I know why  
I felt like shit when I woke up this morning  
  
All of this, All of this  
Now I know why, I hide my love from you somedays  
No I don't mind keeping this bottled inside me  
You came along, and tore this world out around me  
Looks like you found me  
Now I know why  
I felt like shit when I woke up this morning_  
  
Not what a traditional wedding would have played, and it wasn't for the first dance but both Willow and Buffy knew they'd have to have that song played. It was a portrait of words that showed their relationships with their husbands. They looked at each other and exchanged a secretive happy smile.

* * *

A/N: Sry Anon. But my e-mail says no to yours so I don't really know what's up with that. The song isn't mine it's Nickelback's and I just liked it and thought that it showed a bit of how Buffy's relationship is with Spike. Both are still a little wary of love and so don't always show their love for each other. Sorry that it is so short!


	6. The Magic of Three

The ceremony turned out to be a complete success. The brides in their resplendent white gowns were pictures of serene beauty. The grooms were stunningly handsome in their pressed tuxedos. The sun was shining and a light breeze blew through the trees keeping participants and guests cool.  
  
The reception afterwards was a festive affair that left every stuffed with food and sore from dancing. All agreed that it was the most fairy-tale wedding that any had ever been to. The wedded couples couldn't have been more thrilled.  
  
They were now off on a weeklong cruise that would bring both Buffy and Willow into the last stages of their first trimester, and the first stages of their strange cravings.  
  
How ever will their husband survive?

* * *

"But Spiiiiiiiiiiiiikey, I looooooooooooove you soooooooooooooo much!"  
  
'Don't fall for it, mate! It isn't worth it, within the next en minutes she'll hate whatever she wants now and you'll be doing another...' he glanced at the clock, 'THREE AM grocery run!'  
  
He then made the crucial mistake of turning to face his wife. She pulled out the pouting-puppy-dog-eyed-you'll-get-not-sex-from-me look that defeated men everywhere. With a piteous groan he grabbed the car keys and drove to the local deli.

* * *

Xander Harris prided himself on being a patient man. However, there are some things that NO ONE is meant to endure. He was currently looking for "Fresh avocados and I mean FRESH mister!" for his lovely pregnant wife at about three am on Monday morning.  
  
He wearily looked at the alarming array of vegetables in front of him. 'What the fuck is an avocado anyways?'  
  
A sudden tap on his shoulder brought him out of his mild doze. Spike, looking just as haggard as him, desperately ran his fingers through his already rumpled hair.  
  
"Xander, do you know where to get a smoked gouda cheese at this time of day...or night, whatever, any ways Buffy's going ape back at the humble home. She simply MUST have one to eat with her bacon, lettuce, and grape chili cheese sandwich." Both males shuddered dramatically before exchanging helpful advice, and continuing on their way.

* * *

Spike returned to find his wife collapsed on the sofa wailing her heart out. She caught sight of his exhausted features and a fresh wave of tears burst forth. Setting the bags filled with every possible thing she could want down (he had learned in the past weeks to anticipate her cravings) Spike gently walked over and cradled her in his arms. Once she had calmed a bit he asked what was wrong. She sniffled and blew her nose before answering.  
  
"Well, I was watching a late night soap, when the main characters husband was caught sleeping in their bed with another woman and I just couldn't help but think that you'd either do that or leave me. I mean I'll be a walking blimp soon enough!"  
  
By now Spike had heard enough. Nearly half way through her second trimester he was pretty much used to the mod swings by now.  
  
"Shh, pet, I'm never gonna cheat on you or leave you. I'll always be here for you and I'll always love you. I promise."  
  
"Always?" She asked incredulously with a bit of a sniffle.  
  
"Toujours, amour."  
  
She smiled. He knew she loved when he spoke in French. She barely could grasp the basics of the language, yet to hear it spoken was a beautiful treat. She sighed happily, mood greatly improved and snuggled back into her wonderful husbands strong chest.

* * *

Why had she ever married that insufferable prick! Insensitive bastard couldn't even get his ass off the couch to go shopping for the baby. Well fine then! She and Willow would go and pick every thing out BY THEM SELVES! The men would just have to deal with the choices the girls made. All though it wouldn't be too girly, they didn't know what the genders were yet. They did know one thing. On thing that made Buffy more irritable than ever.  
  
Buffy was having IDENTICAL triplets.  
  
Willow was having ONE little bitsy baby.  
  
Not three.  
  
Buffy hated the number three.

* * *

A/n: Sorry that it is so short, but I wanted to get this out now. I am going on a vacation to visit technology challenged relatives in the jolly ol' land of England and probably won't be getting an update out until after I get back. I love hearing comments, suggestions and CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. I don't respond particularly well to flames.  
  
R and R make a happy author which means faster updates when I get back! 


	7. Happy Birthday times 3

Today was the day. Buffy knew with out a doubt that today was the day her three wonderful, completely identical, triplets were to be born. Spike had laughed when she first told him. He stopped laughing when her water broke all over the kitchen floor.

* * *

Spike was currently pacing around the waiting room like a caged animal. He kept wandering in and out of the room Buffy was in. He was desperately trying not to have a major panic attack and play the role of supporting husband at the same time. He almost died every time Buffy had a contraction. He really wasn't ready for parent status yet.

* * *

She was going to KILL him. Never again would she go through this for a man. This horrible, agonizing pain was ripping her apart. She wanted to PUSH! Those stupid doctors, telling her to wait, what do they know? No, after this she would not endure it again! EVER!

* * *

(18 hours of labour later)  
  
Spike looked at his three perfect angels. The naming process had been rather grueling and, at points silly, but the names they had picked suited their children wonderfully. The oldest was Ayoka Kearna Summers-Morrington, the middle one was Aurora Lyn Summers-Morrington and the youngest was Yoko Kurami Summers-Morrington. Three perfect darlings with stormy blue eyes and white-blond hair.

* * *

Epilogue  
  
Buffy rested her hands on her rounded stomach as she watched her three five year olds play excitedly on the swings. Kid number four was on the way and his daddy couldn't have been more thrilled. Buffy looked over at her husband and smiled. He hadn't changed much since before their children were born. He still looked like a punk rocker and still painted his nails black on occasion, but there wasn't a better dad in the world. She smiled and closed her eyes as she leant back against the park bench.  
  
This was heaven.

* * *

A/N: Well that's it. Sorry if the end seems abrupt but that is how it is.  
  
In thanks:  
  
Spuffy101  
  
Katie  
  
unforgiven mistress  
  
AraelMoonchild  
  
Elizance – 2 reviews.  
  
Anon. – sorry that my email didn't like you. But thanks for all the reveiws!  
  
Mariana - Thanks  
  
Amanda 


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